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How Domestic Violence Occurs?

The Cycle of Violence

Generally domestic violence occurs in a cycle, which consists of three stages.

Phase 1

Walking on Eggshells

The first stage involves an increase in tension between the partners. The abuser will become angry, place blame, and argue more often, while the victim is completely focused on not provoking the abuser.

Phase 2

Abuse


During the second stage the tension finally breaks, and the abuser attacks the victim. The abuse can be physical, emotional, sexual, or all three.

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Make-up or Honeymoon Phase

During the third stage, the abuse ends and things calm down between the partners. The abuser may deny the violence, make excuses, say they’re sorry, or reassure the victim the abuse will never happen again. The abuser may even seek counseling. However, this is rarely the end of the abuse. Generally, the cycle repeats itself, with this stage becoming shorter after each repetition. Eventually the make-up phase disappears completely, creating a continual cycle of high tensions and abuse.

Why People Stay

People stay in abusive relationships for a number of reasons, and each relationship is different. Here are some of the most common reasons people stay:

Promises to Change – Often abusers promise to change after each instance of abuse. They might even go to counseling to fully convince the victim of their change. This is rarely the case however, and the abuser generally resumes their harmful behavior after some time.

Safety Planning

No matter the situation, your safety is the number one priority. Below are some tips that will help keep you safe:

  • Keep a cellphone programmed for 911 with you at all times.

  • Identify safe areas of the house that have more than one exit for escape.

  • Practice how to get out of the house safely.

  • Practice this escape route with your children.

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